I Am A Ghoul
by TamaeKurogane
Summary: One shot of Kaneki's thought set after Aogiri arc. WARNING! CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILER! I read the raws!


I can't turn back.

This is what I am.

This is what I've become.

I chose this way.

I chose to embrace my ghoul side.

I can't efford for being weak.

Even if I have to stain my hands in blood. I'm not afraid to kill anymore.

That's what it means to be a ghoul.

Isn't it?

* * *

***BUAGH* *DAK***

"Argh!"

"That's 88th win for me, Banjou-san."

"Ugh... you're awfully strong, Kaneki..."

"Haha, good work for today."

"Y-Yes! Thank you for your guidence!"

With that I took off my mask and walked away from the rooftop. Banjou-san's training session is done.

Banjou-san asked me to train him to become strong, at least until he's able to release his Kagune. Being sturdy is his only forte and he's not happy with it.

In the living room there's Hinami-chan, Tsukiyama-san, Ichimi, Jiro, and Sante chatting with each other.

"Ah! Onii-chan! Banjou-san! How's your training?" Hinami-chan greeted us with her smile which made me smile as well.

"It was okay. Banjou-san is improving everyday." I said honestly. I could feel the sturdy guy's smiling behind me.

"Bonjour, Kaneki-kun and Banjou-san! It appears that Banjou-san needs another bandages to attached, hm?" Tsukiyama-san was also greeting us from his single sofa. I ignored him and approached Hinami-chan who's already prepared with medical aid.

"Hinami-chan, where's my towel?"

"Oh! It's already inside the bathroom!"

"Thank you." I pat her head and went inside to wash myself from the sweat.

The reason why now I'm living with them, even with Tsukiyama, is because they wanted to help with my task. Since we left the 11th ward I decided not to go back to Anteiku. Touka-chan wanted to help me but no, I refused her offer. She will be attending the university this year.

The reason why I left is because... I need to find Doctor Kanou, the very person who changed my life. The very person who turned me into a ghoul. I want to know the reason and why did he choose me. I still don't know what I will do. It depends.

But if his answer doesn't satisfy me, then there's no reason not to kill him.

Banjou-san said he wants to protect me, to become my 'shield', because I helped him a lot back in the 11th ward. I appreciate his help and thinking he may be a lot more helpful if he gets stronger. That's why I've been training him since we moved to this house. After all, Banjou-san is a nice friend. With Banjou-san's tagging along, his three followers as well, tagging along. Maybe not exactly with me but with Banjou-san. Ichimi, Jiro, and Sante, the three maskguys. I'm not sure and don't really care what they're thinking but they're pretty strong. At least they can fight, unlike Banjou-san.

For Tsukiyama... After Banjou-san said he wants to become my 'shield', that narcissus said he wants to become my sword, my 'knight'. Someone who's able to help me in my battle. Honestly, I wasn't hesitating at all. With him to be my ally, we can get a lot stroger. But of course, if he dares to mess around, he'll get killed. Literally means, I'll exterminate him. That's what I warned.

And then finally Hinami-chan. She was supposed to stay with Touka-chan in Anteiku. But instead, she followed me to support me. I though it wouldn't be neccessary but... now that she's here, I couldn't imagine it without her. She's been helping us a lot especially while tending Banjou's wounds.

With these people helping me... I'm sure I'm going to find that doctor. After all...

If I don't, then I don't know what will be the reason for me to live as a ghoul. With this white hair and black nails... I know this transformation means my strength. This transformation is the result of my pain and torture. This transformation means I am not the same Kaneki Ken like I used to be.

I know I was saying that I'm a human. I was afraid to accept myself. But let me say this again.

My name is Kaneki Ken, 19 years old, and I am...

**A ghoul.**

* * *

Hey guys it's Tamae Kurogane! Agh... you know, lately my friend gave me a lot of manga recommendation. But most of them are harem, well since he's a guy. But one day he told me a must read psychological shonen manga named Tokyo Ghoul. I wasn't really that interested... Until I actually read it.

AND OMG IT'S FRIGGIN AWESOME. I REALLY LIKE A PROTAGONIST LIKE KANEKI! TIMID AND WEAK AT THE START, AND THEN HE TURNED BADASS WHEN HIS TORTURE ENDS! Let me love him! I even read the raws even though I don't really understand.

But for those who's confused for what what happened, when Kaneki lives with these guys it will actually really happen after Aogiri arc. I read the raw so I'm sorry for the heavy spoiler!

And since there's no any Tokyo Ghoul ff so far, then I shall open the curtain with a one shot. Thanks for reading!


End file.
